Emotional Blackmail

I had a breakdown at work today.

The party, who is a client and let's call her JJ, sent me a mail today. In her mail, she claimed that I was going back on my word and she went on to cut and copy parts of our previous correspondences to prove her point.

I thought that perhaps by giving her a phonecall, vis-a-vis replying to the mail, I could clarify myself.

Mistake.

When she heard my voice, she had this sigh in her voice, like she didn't really want to be talking to me. But I pressed on. I explained what I had meant in the mail but she would not hear me out. She had misconstrued my mail in a way that was in her interest. But of course.

To be honest, one could argue she could be technically right. It really depends on how one chooses to interprete the words. I tried to point that out to her. But she came back at me, reprimanding me that I should really communicate better. She went on to say that because I have really poor communication skills and that I have not fumbled just once but multiple times, her colleagues had given nasty feedback about me/my organisation (?).

When I tried to explain that it was primarily because I was acting as a mailbox, she then went on to criticize there was a lack of proper internal communications.

In short, her point was it was all my fault for choosing to respond in the words I chose. I felt humiliated and could not find a strong comeback. I chose to ask for additional time to sort things through before we continue our discussions.

Sigh, just when I thought we have been working together long enough that we could have a win-win situation. She obviously is pushing for a win-lose again.

Is any of the above considered emotional blackmail?

My confidence is shakened, honestly. And I was trying to figure out why. Perhaps there is some truth -- my writing ability could just be the problem. Maybe I cannot convey the essence of the message well enough.

I am scared, really scared. Scared of the truth. I think I should talk to my boss about it. Should I, or would it be a career limiting move?

What can I do to handle the situation better?

(goes away to google for help)

Hacking

I am down with a flu, and a cough as well. Think I am too "heaty" and that caused the phlemge to build up.

The past few weeks had been nothing but stressful. Self-reflecting and planning are not easy tasks. But at least I have thought through my mission statement and then make an assessment of the opportunities in front of me now and able to prioritise them. Quite an achievement. But the tough part is not over. This is just the beginning. Now I have to see if the opportunities work out.

God help me please.

Happy and Envious

The girlfriend texted me early this morning with news to share. I could feel the excitement behind those words and half-guessed what I could be hearing very soon.

Yes, the girlfriend got proposed over the weekend. Really, I feel very happy for her because she has been dying for that to happen.

Yet at the same time I am congratulating her, my heart feels so pained and sad about my own lack of romance. Sigh.