Addiction

I cannot believe I got addicted to Restaurant City on Facebook. That thing is evil!!!

I knew I had to do something when I was out for lessons today and all I wanted to do is to log on and keep my restaurant going.

No more no more!

Assertive and Confident

Today, I suddenly find myself tossed into a tussel, just because the facts are misrepresented. Thinking that I would try to be nice and mitigate on both ends so that the matter could be forgotten quickly, I find myself into a deeper and deeper black hole.

Good thing the assertive course I am currently going through right now came in handy.
Is it my problem to resolve in the first place? No.
Is it my right to do not take sides? Damn right it is.

Because I love God, I know He will protect me.

Happy

I don't know if it was the J Crew dress, the new hair cut, my look drew me compliments since last night the Caucasian man brushed my pretty bob-head.

I'm so happy :)

Chicken Feet

I am so lucky to have found the ladies' fellowship group at work. Work is the common thread that ties everyone of us together other than the fact that we are all females and we are able to share openly without fear and judgement to encourage one another that the will of God can also take place at the workplace.

This afternoon, I was relating my Psalm 91 episode and in my attempt to share the story, I said, "my friend had chicken feet" when I meant, my friend had cold feet and chickened out.

The whole room burst out laughing and I was kinda embarrassed but at the same time, felt good about being able to produce smiles.

God is great.

Bleach

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Let me tell you. Do not presume that all your white clothings can be white-washed with bleach. My brand new A|X white shirt turned to a shade of mustard/yellow after being in contact with the aforementioned substance. (all thanks to my 'helpful' mother) and there is ABSOLUTE NO WAY TO REVERSE IT.

I am so annoyed.

Who says God don't speak to you?

When God wants to tell you something, He makes sure you get it.

Case in point: I was bothered by something and my fellow Christian sisters prayed for me and then subsequently encouraged me with Psalms 91. The very same day, my church prayed that prayer for the congregation as well. Today, my friend told me that she was just reading something that mentioned Psalms 91 as well.

So you see, Psalms 91 was shoved in my face, not once, not twice but three times, just in case I still don't get it.

Psalm 91

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Emotional Blackmail

I had a breakdown at work today.

The party, who is a client and let's call her JJ, sent me a mail today. In her mail, she claimed that I was going back on my word and she went on to cut and copy parts of our previous correspondences to prove her point.

I thought that perhaps by giving her a phonecall, vis-a-vis replying to the mail, I could clarify myself.

Mistake.

When she heard my voice, she had this sigh in her voice, like she didn't really want to be talking to me. But I pressed on. I explained what I had meant in the mail but she would not hear me out. She had misconstrued my mail in a way that was in her interest. But of course.

To be honest, one could argue she could be technically right. It really depends on how one chooses to interprete the words. I tried to point that out to her. But she came back at me, reprimanding me that I should really communicate better. She went on to say that because I have really poor communication skills and that I have not fumbled just once but multiple times, her colleagues had given nasty feedback about me/my organisation (?).

When I tried to explain that it was primarily because I was acting as a mailbox, she then went on to criticize there was a lack of proper internal communications.

In short, her point was it was all my fault for choosing to respond in the words I chose. I felt humiliated and could not find a strong comeback. I chose to ask for additional time to sort things through before we continue our discussions.

Sigh, just when I thought we have been working together long enough that we could have a win-win situation. She obviously is pushing for a win-lose again.

Is any of the above considered emotional blackmail?

My confidence is shakened, honestly. And I was trying to figure out why. Perhaps there is some truth -- my writing ability could just be the problem. Maybe I cannot convey the essence of the message well enough.

I am scared, really scared. Scared of the truth. I think I should talk to my boss about it. Should I, or would it be a career limiting move?

What can I do to handle the situation better?

(goes away to google for help)